i don't know

i don't know what to do when i am given too much.

it renders me off balance, i seem unable to reconcile blessing.

yet i continue to receive things that i do not deserve,

while deprived of the things most would say i do.

bits of unrest and now bewilderment.

i will do my best to be true. true to the soul.

and to those who still believe.

this year has been a blur

still i've seen things, i hope not to forget.

the glimmers

what is it about my memory that has sparkle?

is it embellished by endorphins, or

is it a perfectly functioning lens on reality?

because when I remember, I love what is, and what has been.

the glimmers that I see now, I didn't always see.

and when I stop to wonder, I do not squint.

I find myself smiling, and laughing,

understanding who I am, who they were

and sharing with fellow wanderers, what is.